Divorce is never easy. You may have the support of your family attorney, but the after-effects can drain you mentally, physically, and even socially. It is even harder if you are a mother as society has a particular aversion to divorced mothers.
Once you get divorced you get all sorts of questions running in your mind:
- Will society accept me?
- Will they offer support?
- How am I going to raise my kids?
- Will society blame me even if I am not the one at fault?
- Will everyone pity me and my kids?
- How am I going to provide for my kids?
- Where will I live?
All these questions will give you just one thing: Anxiety.
Listed below are tips for mothers who have just gotten divorced and are scared, unconfident, alone, and depressed.
Look Towards Your Kids
Right now, you have to look at your kids. They are the biggest asset you have. You have to target all your focus towards them. Right now, you have to forget about your anxiety, your depression, your problems, and your ex-spouse. You have to live for them.
They are also going through a difficult time, they’re scared, they feel guilty, and are confused. They are also separated from one parent. You have to give your children support. A mother has the power to protect her kids even without resources and can go to any end for her kids. You will emerge as a stronger person every day.
Take All The Support You Have
In this difficult time, do not feel embarrassed, take up all the help offered by your friends and family. In this time, only a few will come forward to help and those are genuine people. You can take loans or initial help for investment purposes or a new venture by friends and family. Join different support groups for single mothers and meet and the likes. This way you will feel more relaxed and confident.
Take Spousal Support
The greatest advantage you have here is that you are a woman and have custody of your children. If you used to be a housewife without a job then you can claim for spousal support and child support and you will be easily granted by the court as it is the responsibility of the father as well to bring up the children. Even if you had a job, you can still ask for child support.
Make Use Of Your Time
The situation you are going through right now is heartbreaking and surely you will need time to forget your past. But, dwelling in the past and worrying about the future will lead you to lose your present as well. Think about the present and use your time to join free online courses to learn a new skill or get an online job, research about ways to earn money to secure your kids future.
You can polish up your skills and learn something unique. You need to educate yourself and stand up on your own feet. Learn about bank accounts, credit cards, taxes, investment opportunities, profits, and other stuff which your spouse used to handle.
Stay On Good Terms With Your Ex-Spouse
This is equally important as he may be your ex but he is still your kids’ father and in their eyes, he’s still their hero. Never badmouth or say anything mean about your ex-spouse in front of your kids. They are also broken inside and this will further break them. Let them be their own judge. Never cause such a scenario for your kids that they are forced to choose one parent. Plus being on good terms with your ex-spouse is essential for the healthy upbringing of your children.
Don’t Stress Yourself
Don’t stress yourself on petty stuff but care for the bigger picture. The new Lego set, the new Lol doll can be bought later on, do not fret when you cannot buy unnecessary stuff for your kids, they will hardly remember these things. What they will remember is how much time, love, and support you gave them, how many times you were there for them when they needed you and this will create a strong bond between you and your kids.
There are many support groups on social media and many centers run by NGOs for the help of divorced mothers. Interact with them to know that you are not alone in this. Moreover, take help from your divorce lawyer Fairfax VA as they can connect you with the right people.